BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
