why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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