Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
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She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
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Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
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