I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I want to fling myself into the sun
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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