Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
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I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
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I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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