Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
