All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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