Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
