Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
