Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
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my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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