Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
