I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
