I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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