im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
