well I can't set my house on fire every night
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
