drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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