i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
