this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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