And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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