NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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