Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
