I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
