I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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