Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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