So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize