I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
