this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
