pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
