making cat noises will not fix the situation.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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