Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
