i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
