did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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