We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
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She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
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Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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