I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
