We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
