you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i love accidental penises.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
