if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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