They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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