i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Need sex. Gaining weight.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
