we have officially mastered the walk of shame
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
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I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
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We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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