dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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