Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
