That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
