You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
