the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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