even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
