My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
