So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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