My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
