I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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