i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
