Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
