So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize