I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
