my vag is so smooth its legendary
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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