why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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