Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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