If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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