Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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