scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
