Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
