I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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