is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
